Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
The ways to expand our REALITY.
In most cases,we don't look directly at the world and other people around us! We "look"at them through the "filters "of our beliefs, present state of knowledge,education,past experiences, feelings,emotions,moods,opinions,attitudes,ideas,conclusions etc. All these "filters" represent our present "REALITY" .We can improve and expand our REALITY ,by training ourselves to look at things and observe them directly.So...when we communicate with somebody ,before judging what he(her) says from the viewpoint if it agrees ,or disagrees with our reality,it is much better to listen from the begining to the end ,to look at the whole picture,before trying to produce any judgements! It is better to communicate with the purpose of UNDERSTANDING the other,and the law here is -listen carefully!(with full attention on him,and no attention if what he(she) says agrees or disagrees with your reality) When he will end to tell what he wanted to tell,make sure that you duplicated exactly what was told.Ask questions ,if you feel you didn't understand something clearly! After that ,tell,in your own words, to him what you understood from what he said! It will help to establish for you and for him if you duplicated him correctly!
Application of A.R.C. triangle in everyday life.
I posted ,in the links(from the right),sites that explain what is an A.R.C. triangle .Here i want to talk about my ideas of application of an A.R.C. triangle in everyday life.The,mere,knowledge of an A.R.C. triangle in your mind,without ful understanding of this concept and how it can be applied in the different situations of your life in order to improve these situations,is of little value! So...the first thing to understand is that these three factors: Affinity,Reality and Communication are not ,only,interdependent,but,always,go together!... In order to understand better concepts,we need to look and find real examples of these concepts in real life!Here i want to expand on the concept of "Reality" and make it more understandable: So...at this ,very,moment,look and find things that are,actually,existent for YOU!Note,as many things as possible,that at this ,very,moment exist for you! Become an observer!: which things you perceive now through your senses of sight,hearing,touch,smell ,bodily sensations etc? About which thoughts,ideas,feelings,emotions,desires,life memories,imaginations,moods,hopes,beliefs,plans,goals etc.are you aware,right now? ... This is your REALITY! ...But,at this very moment i am not aware of your REALITY! All these things are not REAL to me.I am not aware about them! In order these things will become REAL for me ,i need to become AWARE about them.To example,by YOU telling ME about them! REALITY has degrees: some things can be more REAL than others.I can see you on the street ,so at that moment you will be ,in some degree,REAL for me.But at the moment i see you on the street,i can't "see" the things that exist in your mind and in your life (your work,your home etc)So,from this viewpoint,you are,completely,UNREAL for me! We can see many strangers on the street,but what is happening in their mind and their life,what they think,believe,dream about,want etc. can be ,completely unreal to us! ...Now,let's suppose,that we live in the same place( appartment, city, street etc (or work at the same work) Or,let's suppose,that we see the same television programms,films ,read the same newspapers and books, listen to the same music ,and,even,love the same music,know the same things,have the same interests,feel the same about some things in life,meet at the same parks,streets,restourants,places... The more things we share in common :experiences,observations,interests,feelings,opinions,beliefs,attitudes,likes and dislikes etc,the more chances are that we will COMMUNICATE on the basis of them! Communication is the means of sharing our REALITIES with others,so,what is REAL(what "exists" )for us become REAL to them !...Is it ,really,become REAL to them?- It depends on their points of AGREEMENT with it! If they find points of agreement on perceptions,opinions,knowledge, feelings, beliefs,intentions,observations,experiences,attitudes etc.,it will be REAL to them,and so,they will UNDERSTAND us.But,if many things that we tell them are in disagreement with what they "know" is true,correct,right etc,it will be difficult(if not impossible) for them to UNDERSTAND us! ...To understand somebody ,or something, is to develop hight degree of affinity,agreement and communication with them! ... There is another way of looking at "REALITY"(which is,basically,an agreement): REALITY is a degree of duplication.What is duplication?- I will give you an example: if YOU have an idea in your mind and communicate it to me,if got the idea exactly as it existed in your mind,it can be said that i "duplicated" it,have now a "copy" of this idea in my mind! But if i can't "duplicate" it,can't become aware of it exactly as it is in your mind,i can't understand you! Effective communication requires exact duplication ! On the level of hearing it implies hearing ,clearly and exactly,what is said.And on the level of mental grasping of an idea it implies geting it exactly in your mind the way it existed in other person's mind! The more ideas,feelings etc.that exist in your mind i duplicate exactly ,when you communicate them to me,the more REAL you become for me! Of course,all this,if you say to me things that ,really,exists in your mind:your true feelings,true thoughts. You can't become REAL to me if you're insincere or dishonest! In other words,if you're not telling me the truth! So,if we will establish effective communication between us through which we'll get better knowledge about the things that EXIST in our inner and outer worlds,we will gain ability to understand each other better,and,by this,to help each other better! We will know true intentions,needs,wants ,problems,feelings,difficulties etc.of each other.
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